Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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