I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
