the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
