her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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