do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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