Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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