Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
