My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
