the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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