Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize