Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I want is dick and wine.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
