Fuck appropriateness.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize