I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
