Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
