You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
