Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
