She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
