I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
