That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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