You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
