So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
