so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
