No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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