Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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