Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
