i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
