After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
