Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
