Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
