Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
