i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
