i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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