Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
