but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
