Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
