She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
