Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And then he peed in my hair
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