Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
