The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
