Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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