I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
