areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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