i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
