just come out here and I will go home with you...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When are your genitals available?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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