Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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