i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
