oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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