do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize