why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
