Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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