Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
