I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
