Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
