Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
