do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We had to coat check the pizza.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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