you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
