Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
