Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
