So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
