i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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