around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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