I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize