Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
