also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize