all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
